...and I felt so blue. I've had a lot on my mind lately. For instance, I love being single but every now and then I'm reminded that I'm alone. Sometimes I miss having someone sleep next to me at night. And I miss being needed. I keep trying to reach to people that I care about to offer my assistance, and they don't need me. I was telling a friend the other day: Both my parents were nurses, I'm a Cancer, I'm a woman, AND I'm Puerto Rican! I can't help but care for people. So it's almost a silly feeling of rejection when nobody wants my help. Isn't that dumb?
The other thing is, I have not done anything to lose weight. I'm so dissappointed in myself. I've gain 13lbs since last Spring....I was suppose to go the OTHER way and lose 13 -20...at least. When I weighed myself this more, I started crying. That's not what I want for myself. And my friends and family, tell me all the time that I'm beautiful, and I appreciate it but I'm not happy with myself. I don't feel comfortable in my body and I just wish I could push myself like I did last year.
I realized that the main reason it was soo easy for me to lose all that weight last Spring is because it was my distraction from my relationship with Ryan. Now, instead of it being a distraction, it is the goal, which makes it twice as difficult to acheive. But seeing that number on the scale this morning helped a little. I never wanted to weigh that much again so that fact that I do now, has opened my eyes. I just hope I can push myself to get where I want to be.
I guess that's all for now. I hate not having my own computer bc I have to do everything while I'm at work and also do my job. But I hope to post more often.
Until then, have a great day!
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